All Alone
by Divine Champion
Summary: Amaterasu's mental state was not the best, but she did what she was told. But for every yin, there had to be a yang. Humanity and Immorality. Life and Death. What lurked inside this 'innocent' wolf was a broken girl, with broken memories of her past. And yet, she remembers one thing: The events that led her to be on Mira was all her fault. "I... I won't let you forgive me. Ever."


***sigh* I have a problem, don't I? I mean, this chapter will barely have any edits compared to the others, but this story is the one I have edited so many times since the beginning of this year. It's irritating.**

 **I think it's the roughness of the original version that's been onto me, prompting me to redo it again and again until I find it satisfying. But I'm still working on Chosen by the Moon, so don't worry about that one.**

 **And yeah, it's a reconstruction of the story "Belphegor's Songbird." I wanted to shine some more light on Amaterasu's past, as well as the six other victims of the ordeal that my wolf had gone through on Earth.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Xenoblade Chronicles X.**

* * *

 **I: Snap and Switch**

Amaterasu had never felt so exhausted before this moment. Nor had she felt so defeated, with the exception being at the Lifehold Core. She had a feeling that going against this particular Tyrant was going to be a losing one, but it was the one mission that Yelv insisted on doing. In retrospect, she should've known that he was doing this to let her use some pent-up emotional stress. But, she couldn't lash out at him, due to the fact that he was currently knocked out.

Sparing a glance towards Irina, she was still conscious at the very least. Though she was being held up against a Vix, who was holding a mace over her head. Her armor showed burns from the lasers, and her silvery gray irises were showing signs of difficulty in concentration; something the wolf didn't expect from the Interceptor. Her assault rifle had been shot out of her hands, and whatever remained of her knife was lost in the sand.

As for the Murderess, she was half buried in the grains, weakly attempting to recover from a burst of plasma that hit her in the abdomen. Her gladiis went bent, and like Irina's knife, her psycho launchers were destroyed.

Being the one with the most fire in this situation, the youthful Pathfinder glared at Dadaan, her once bright eyes now dim. Out of the four, she bore the most damage, evidenced by the various cuts and scratches that currently decorated her. A few were deeper than the rest, but all allowed the blue plasma to leak out, regardless, weakening her. Her sight was beginning to worsen, and her glasses had been blown off. Granted, they were fake, but she still wore them because of the augments she placed on them. She coughed out more of the synthetic blood, letting it stain the sand below her. The lightblade that Ga Jiarg had given her as a gift had been destroyed, the ether it once contained gone. And as for her custom raygun, it was currently aimed at her head.

The Tyrant Prone before her chuckled before saying, "So, you are the white wolf my people have been mentioning as of late. The idea of crippling your city was most tempting, considering the extent of your abilities."

A soft, warning growl escaped Amaterasu's throat, acutely aware of what the Prone was talking about. She couldn't walk around the city without the chance of an off-duty BLADE mentioning her unnatural ether affinity. How much of a freak it made her. When it was found out, Solan had made an offhand comment and called a "poisonous mimeosome."

' _Now is not the time to reminiscence,'_ She scolded herself. She needed to find a way to get out of this mess alive. But how, when she was too weak to activate her Overdrive, and with her ether abilities requiring the stamina that she was rapidly losing. Perhaps she could let go of her inhibitions- No, she couldn't. If she did, then she didn't know what was going to happen. The few weeks of practice she had with complete ether submission was controlled and monitored by Victor, who had a Brainjack at the ready. Having the very essence of life control her artificial body was rather terrifying, especially after she accidentally swallowing some of the plasma that was within the Lifehold Core.

" _Is the concept of self-control worth more than the lives of your friends? If you want them to live, then let_ _ **me**_ _take over."_

Amaterasu hesitated for a few more precious seconds before closing her eyes and letting herself slip back into her mind, giving up control willingly.

* * *

 **Date: April 2, 204X**

(Amaterasu) **woke up, her lifeless blue eyes showing years worth of inexplicable pain. The girl she once was no longer existed, for she had been replaced by a poisonous toy. She had grown accustomed to the boredom that was within her cell, but it was better than the trials she was going through on the other side of the door. She, along with the other five, were forced to watch the flower's experiment as a punishment the other day.**

 **That was undoubtedly the worst thing they could witness. It was horrifyingly wrong on so many levels, it gave them all shivers. None of them deserved what they were going through.**

 _ **None of their tormentors deserved to live.**_

 **A deep-rooted anger began to grow in her heart, but she didn't bother fighting it. It wasn't supposed to be her designated power; for that was to be the reaper's.**

(It was that very anger that the ether chose to bring to life, letting it fuel her damaged mimeosome.)

 **Sitting up and leaving her bed, the ten year old waited for the man that was going to take her to the room where any and all experiments were conducted. The last time she was taken there, the overpowering smell of bleach was what made her realize that they had been working on the chef. That ire came back, beginning to change her. Turning her into a defective creature.**

* * *

The first set of notes seemed to capture everyone's attention almost immediately. It was almost like a siren's song. However, Irina was the only one resisting it. Because she learned how to mentally resist effects such as Control and Sleep, the Interceptor could see what was happening. She could see ether begin to curl around Amaterasu's form, repairing her wounds before drifting off to Yelv and Murderess. And the effects were obvious, with the Reclaimer was beginning to stir and the Curator was putting in more effort to free herself from the sand. The enemy Prone, on the other hand, were just standing there. It was like they were under a spell. The wolf's voice was light, almost cheery in a way.

 _So why was the spontaneous singing giving the Interceptor's gut the feeling of dread?_

Said feeling began to worsen as Irina felt a change in the atmosphere. There was an unnatural chill, and it was coming from the wolf herself. A removed part of the Interceptor's brain was shouting at her to leave while she still could. Now that the enemies were distracted, and the mace that would've ended her life was no longer above her head, Irina slowly made her way towards the Reclaimer and Curator. If there was one thing that Amaterasu's allies knew about her, it was that the moment she lost her temper, everyone within the vicinity was going to suffer the consequences. Last time, it was Justin and he almost got what he wished for.

* * *

 **She was forced to sing for hours on end. After all, that was the point of her existence. She was supposed to be a human nightingale. The anger against their captors grew between the seven over the years. Said captors expected the reaper to show the signs, but it was the** (wolf) **instead.**

" **They've turned me into a dangerous weapon."** **The surroundings were smeared, as if it were made of paint that had yet to dry. Very few things were solid in these memories. But even then, they crafted the truth of her past. One where she was forgotten. One that should've remained buried.**

* * *

A pained cry snapped Amaterasu's senses back to the current reality. Her teammates must've been attempting to escape; even with her eyes closed, she could sense her ether-based raygun away from her and instead being aimed at them. They were likely hit with a Gravity Blast.

Unadulterated ire started to consume her mind, filling it with thoughts that could sicken most sadists. She began to slow her song down at points, chilling everyone within earshot. Her mimeosome felt like it had gone into Overdrive, since she felt her body heating up. But instead of the usual trails of electricity racing around her form, it was now purple ether drifting around her lazily. The wolf finally opened her eyes, Dadaan felt an intense surge of fear go through his ranks, and he could see why. Even though her irises retained their sun-colored hue, there was a pale blue color as well, and it was attempting to overtake the golden yellow. When she spoke, Irina, Murderess, and Yelv felt the same surge of fear. The wolf sounded monotone, yet the anger was very much palpable.

"You interrupted my song and dared to harm her friends." She chuckled softly, "You shall face the penalty."

' _Wait… Why is Amaterasu referring to herself in third person?'_ Murderess thought to herself. There was something very wrong here. Before anyone else could react, the wolf had disappeared in a flash, leaving everyone on edge. Waiting for something to happen. Until her voice echoed a line.

"I am the Bringer of Eternal Rest.' The mechanical enemies began to short-circuit and fall to the ground. The flesh and blood enemies also collapsed, but not before falling to their knees and gasping for breath. None of them were missing limbs, nor were they bleeding profusely. They were experiencing something that the three BLADEs couldn't see, but they could vaguely sense an increase of ether. For them, there was a varying degree of nausea.

Amaterasu reappeared in front of her teammates, a dazed look on her face. It was almost like she was drunk, or perhaps sleepy, in a way. In her right hand, was a purple blade made of pure ether. In the light, it looked like a sun-bathed amethyst, but its aura was malicious and sickeningly potent. In her mind, both the past and the present were competing for importance, and it was tearing her in two.

"You alright there, pard?" Yelv asked, disturbed at the wolf's change. The woman before them narrowed her eyes, making him fall silent in slight terror. He was aware of the common idea of the most dangerous people were the silent ones and the adorable ones, and that was something Amaterasu combined. Her short stature and shy demeanor already sounded dangerous on its own. But her eyes showed a malice that shouldn't belong to her, and yet it did.

"Why should I? Eighteen years of torment, and you allowed it to happen." The Curator, Interceptor, and Reclaimer found themselves at a loss. What was Amaterasu talking about?

"Did you even notice the disappearances of seven girls? Or was humanity's survival so important that you allowed horrible people commit horrible crimes on innocent people?" Something seemed to snap in her, and her eyes displayed a calm madness. She looked about ready to kill them on the spot until she felt a phantom force around her arms. A voice from the past echoed in her mind.

* * *

" **Restrain yourself. The time isn't right yet."** **It was seductive, just like she supposed to be, and the** (wolf) **listened, far too obedient to the owner.** " **The boy has a plan to get us out of here. If it works, we can exact revenge. But we need to be patient, my dear."** **The owner whispered, and she shivered with barely contained rage.** " **Okay, Lily. I'll wait. But for how long? I think that they're realizing that Emily and I have become defective."** (Amaterasu) **vocalized her concern, as the owner of the voice tightened her grip just slightly.** " **I'm not sure. But we seven swore to protect one another for as long as possible. Remember what I told you?"**

(Amaterasu) **chuckled softly.** " **That I belong to you and you alone. Which is why I obey your commands."**

* * *

Amaterasu lost her grip on her blade as its dissolved into its gaseous form. Her eyes no longer showed the madness, but instead they displayed regret, sorrow, and loss, with fury barely contained behind.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sorry. It was for the plan we created, and you were willing to die by my hand..." She whispered under her breath, running the same thing over and over as she fell to her knees. It was her fault. Had she not lost her temper, they wouldn't have found out about the defect. Had she kept it hidden and acted as she was supposed to, the reaper would not have been killed. The others wouldn't have been killed. Her loving flower wouldn't have been killed.

"Ammy?" Irina asked, using one of the nicknames that the wolf had gone by. Her voice, coated with worry, seemed to bring Amaterasu back just enough for her to remember their current situation. They were no longer in danger, that much was true, considering what she had done. She had killed everyone in the fortress, and yet there wasn't a single drop of blood on her.

"I… I'm fine. Let's go. We should just let our Skell be on autopilot during our flight back." Her eyes remained a contradiction of light blue and golden yellow, never blending to show green. It was like there were two people inside her.

-000-

Location Shift: Near Barracks Entrance… (20:31)

It was normal for BLADEs to return to the city exhausted, but not to the point of dropping dead on the spot. And that's exactly what happened to the team. With the Reclaimer, Interceptor, and Curator going unconscious from the shock of everything that had happened to them, and the Pathfinder falling to her hands and knees, unable to focus on anything correctly.

"Someone… take them to the maintenance center." Amaterasu said weakly, holding her head as the pain of remembering her past went through her. She usually lived through them in her sleep, but not this time. She was awake, and she couldn't suppress them anymore. "Rook, what about-" Bozé started, but was cut off by the wolf's outburst. "I said, get them to the center now!" The blue in her eyes flashed brighter as soon as she finished her sentence. As Bozé, Phog, and a couple other BLADEs carried Yelv, Irina, and Murderess to the Mim Center, everyone else surrounded Amaterasu, whose eyes sparked a mixture of concern and intrigue from the crowd.

"A-Amaterasu? Are you okay?" Gwin asked tentatively, and he took a step back when her eyes focused on him, glaring as if he had pissed her off. Anyone that has worked with her was aware of the temper, but not what could truly set it off. The growl she let out was that of an cornered animal, and suddenly everyone, human and xeno, was aware of the fact that animals were the most dangerous when they felt trapped.

"Humans truly are naive, believing in the idea that building the arks would save you. And, yes, while that is true to some extent…" She paused for a moment, trying to keep the remains of her composure. But the caustic tone in the next string of words made everyone in earshot wince.

"Playing the role of God was wrong, especially on other members of your own species." The intensity of the cold anger in the wolf's voice hit everyone in earshot hard. Forcing herself to stand up, Amaterasu pushed past the people that blocked her way to the barracks, years worth of anger fueling her movements and consuming her senses. She was vaguely aware of Vandham calling her name, and it was in that moment when she realized something.

That name was not who she was at all. She remembered her birth name, and she hated the name they all called her.

She turned around to glare, and for a couple of seconds, her usual features changed. There was something about her scowl and the way her contradictory eyes glowed with judgment that made her unrecognizable. In fact, she looked oddly sadistic in her own way. Like she was constantly thinking of the worst kind of punishment each person deserved. Hope, bless her for the one brave enough to speak at that point, told the wolf that she needed to go to the tower for interrogation. And amazingly, the wolf complied.

However, her remaining allies had the same question echoing in their heads: _What happened to the Amaterasu they knew?_


End file.
